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...It was exciting, for
I had not realized all
the secret places it
knew. There are a myriad
of crevasses and
indentations and
shadowy, tangled
hideaways where wind and
breath can visit - and only
they are aware of. The
wind knows all the
places a bird goes, and
even skims gently over
the most subtle mound of
soil upturned when the
earthworm surfaces. I
asked if my breath could
go to all those unknown
places and if my mind
could let go and follow
- without words or
thoughts. Just follow,
just bank and turn and
flow and push up against
a rock or wall or trunk
or tire and then fold
into itself and the wind
and seek a new path in
an instant. It was
easier than I had
imagined and I wonder
why I have not done this
a million times. But now
is not too late. Now is
good. Breathe in
gratitude. Imagine what
gratitude really is, for
we actually do not know.
As close as we believe
we have been to it, we
really do not know the
pulsing aliveness that
is real gratitude. It's
a whole world, really.
And
 I
have only dipped my toe
into it's lovely
surface. Breathe in
gratitude and then call
your thoughts back home.
Say to your mind, which
is yours to command; be
still. Hold with me now.
Steady. Quiet. Calm. Now
breathe out and join the
wind. Let it all out,
your breath and
everything that wishes
to ride upon it. Is your
pain there? The
arguments you keep
reshaping? Your fear of
tomorrow? Your anger at
injustices done to you?
Relax and know that you
are just the same as
every human being on
earth. No one born here
breathes freely from
birth to death. But many
surrender after a time
and let their breath
mingle with the wind and
become it's own
searcher, it's own wave
in the current of life
seeking life. Swaying
under the leaves,
whispering, shuffling,
murmuring as they do, it
is easier to let your
breath go. Still, I
forget. But they remind
me, whispering. "Free
yourself. Free what is
already free and always
was free - your own
self." Start with your
breath and more will
follow. Inhale. Exhale.
Thoughts will come next.
Then arguments and
judgments, then what you
believe in your mind are
rock solid facts. They
will all follow if you
breathe into the wind.
And then you will
receive something quite
beautiful; you will be
shown something beyond
facts; something real,
eternal. No one can say
how this will come to
you. A spark of some
kind? Maybe. An idea?
Sure. A presence of
something fleeting and
forever in the same
instant. Everything.
Nothing. Yes, that is
it. Nothing and
everything will come to
you and you will not be
able to tell them apart.
You will not be able to
hold this idea, so just
allow it to drift and
sift through you. You
will probably wish to
stay in this delicious
trance because it is the
default setting of
humanity before our own
faulty programming of
fear and
 pain
and illusion. No more
though. We are through
with that. That is why
misery and confusion and
distrust and sadness is
at it's highest level
now. That is why you are
restless of heart and
soul. That is why I went
outside before daylight
with my tea, bundled up
on a summer morning as
if it were October.
Seeking release,
forgiveness, solace,
kindness, peace in my
heart. For an hour I sat
there, closing my eyes
and opening them. My
mind out raced the wind.
But every so often, in
the gentlest way, leaves
would murmur to me -
Pause. Allow. Relax.
Surrender. Do you not
see that you are all of
this and more? You are
not you, sitting there
in your sky chair. You
are wind and rustling,
light and dark, mist and
clouds and sky and
earth, worms and
spiders, sidewalk and
footpath and street and
highway and river and
flood and dry desert
stone. That body is not
your home. It's your low
income housing at best.
It could never contain
you, who you are and
what you came here for
and where you've been
and where you will go.
You are not an age, you
are not even one sex. Or
one race. You are a part
of All That Is. Can you
find the edge of All
That Is so that you can
determine just where
your border ends? No.
All That Is would never
even try to define
itself. It doesn't want
to. Every tiny part of
itself is complete and
whole, even a neutron
inside a molecule inside
a wisp of dandelion
lint. Barely a glint off
a ripple in the ocean or
the tiniest frequency of
the full sound a stick
makes when snapping in
two. And yet, it is
whole. You are whole.
Breathe in the idea. Is
there any reason not to
trust this? Will harm
come if you pause now
and imagine yourself
perfect? Does it seem
like a thought or an
idea created to control
you or is it the most
freeing concept you can
imagine? Follow what you
feel. Not what you
think. If I say to you,
Breathe in peace.
Breathe out all that you
wish to release. Does
that bring you to
enslavement? Or is there
freedom beyond
definition? Which path
calls to you? Are you
through with one and
ready for the other?
There is no right or
wrong way here. What are
you ready for? Do you
wish to be home now? In
this instant? Because
you are there. You are
home already. So sit
with that for a time.
Sit and breathe in the
idea - I am home. I am
whole. I am enough. Even
if this is only a
moment's reprieve from
your restlessness, that
is good enough. A moment
is everything. All there
is, really. And your
trusting breath is what
you have longed for.
|
 For
some weeks I've thought
about writing a new
rambling for my website.
When I went outside this
morning, that was not on
my mind. But after an
hour of breathing and
listening and drifting
in the dawn, I came
inside and closed my
eyes and typed this. It
is for me, really. As
all my songs are, as
well. But I'm sharing it
with you because we are
a lot alike, you and me.
I hope you're
doing well this
summertime. Remember to
take a deep breath now
and then and to be kind
to yourself.
Your friend in breezy
Seattle,
~Michael |
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